FavoriteFamilyLectures

A Prayer for God’s Perfect Love in the Midst of Heartache

Tears are the price you pay for loving and risking its loss, but love anyway! In her book, The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom, shared her first heartbreak and the words of her father that helped her find a way through her pain. As parents, we struggle for ways to reassure our children that they will survive heartbreak, but few have found a way to honor and use the pain of loss to keep love alive. Again we find the role of faith in calling us to a higher ground where we treasure memories that make life worth living. Enjoy Corrie’s powerful memory of a father’s wisdom:

’Corrie,’ father began. ‘do you know what hurts so very much (about having someone you love reject you for another)? It’s love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill the love so that its stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or, Corrie, we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel. God loves Karel—even more than you do—and if you ask Him, He will give you His love for this man, a love nothing can prevent, nothing destroy. Whenever we cannot love in the old, human way, Corrie, God can give us the perfect way.’ … I was still in kindergarten in these matters of love. My task just then was to give up my feelings for Karel without giving up the joy and wonder that had grown with it. And so, that very hour, lying there in my bed, I whispered an enormous prayer: ‘Lord, I give to You the way I feel about Karel, my thoughts about our future—oh, You know! Everything! Give me Your way of seeing Karel instead. Help me to love him that way. That much!”

We ought to thank God for love lost, love experienced…and love sustained. What early memories of love does this rekindle from your life?

(Source: Corrie Ten Boom, The Hiding Place, Spire Books, 1971, p. 44-45)

Talking about Sex May Be Too Heavy for the Young to Carry

Childhood memories are often the key not to the past, but to the future. The experiences in our lives become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the work we are to do later in life. Corrie Ten Boom, the author of The Hiding Place, knew that well as her experience as a child in Holland helped her prepare for the challenges she would face as an adult.

When overrun by Germany in World War II, her family protected many Jewish families and worked in the underground. When finally captured, Corrie lived through the Holocaust experience. Her earthly father taught her many lessons that she drew on in the camps.

Corrie had a father who wanted his children experience childhood. Corrie shared an example: “’Sex,’ I was pretty sure, meant whether you were a boy or a girl, and ‘sin’ made Tante Jans very angry, but what the two meant together I could not imagine. And so, seated next to my father in the train compartment, I suddenly asked, ‘Father, what is sex sin?’ He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case from the rack over our heads, and set it on the floor. ‘Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?’ he said. I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning. ‘It’s too heavy,’ I said. ‘Yes, he said. ‘As it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It’s the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.’ I was satisfied. More than satisfied-wonderfully at peace. There were answers to this and all my hard questions—for now I was content to leave them in my father’s keeping.”

Are there things we should wait to explain to our kids or has the current influx of Television and the Internet created a need to have conversations earlier?

Corrie later observed that there were times in camp where she had no easy answers as to why so many were suffering in the camps. At those times, she would say to herself, "It's too heavy for me to understand why. Since it is too heavy for me to carry, I trust that God the Father will carry it for me until I am ready to understand his plan."

(Source: Corrie Ten Boom, The Hiding Place, Spire Books, 1971, p. 26-27)

Jim Stovall's Movie, "The Ultimate Gift" Is Truly a Gift

As a fellow speaker, I had heard of Jim Stovall's book, The Ultimate Gift. After hearing that his book was to be released as a FoxFaith inspirational drama, Lorie and I invested a Sunday afternoon at the movie theater.

All in the audience were given the gift of unwrapping Jim's movie, The Ultimate Gift, one scene at a time. The film took us from laughter to tears to insight and back again through a journey of love. The whole audience remained in their seats patiently after the movie was done to review the insights shared and scenes that reminded us of the gifts life provides-the gifts of work, friends, family, money, learning, problems, laughter, dreams, giving, gratitude, love…and the gift of a day. Some movies leave a sour aftertaste; The Ultimate Gift leaves viewers thankful for the blessing life provides when lived well. This movie deserves to be seen and supported!

The Ultimate Gift has a stellar cast that includes James Garner, Brian Dennehy and young Abigail Breslin fresh off her Oscar-nominated turn in Little Miss Sunshine. The movie title refers to an intriguing enticement offered to spoiled and arrogant Jason Stevens (Drew Fuller) by his recently deceased and extremely wealthy grandfather Red (James Garner). Red, via a series of video messages, promises the irresponsible young man that if he completes a series of tasks (or as Red puts it, "gifts"), he will receive a substantial inheritance.

After enduring a series of humiliating episodes in which he experiences life as a homeless person, does back-breaking labor at a ranch and travels to South America to come to terms with the death of his father, Jason begins to change. We watch him find a life-changing relationship with a beautiful single mother (Ali Hillis) and her feisty young daughter (Breslin) who is dying of leukemia.

I won't reveal any more of the story line, but let me assure you that this movie will challenge you to have conversations with your own children and grandchildren about the things that matter most in life. Instead of just leaving money in your will, you might even want to look for ways to add a few meaningful messages. Whatever you do, take time to see this film! If you want more information, check out their site at http://www.theultimategift.com.   

The Ultimate Gift was Jim Stovall's first novel, published in 2001. Stovall is also cofounder and president of Narrative Television Network, which helps make movies and television accessible to America's 13 million blind and visually impaired people. He himself became totally blind at age 29 as a result of a decade-long process.

His road to getting The Ultimate Gift transformed to film was not an easy one. Two major studios contacted him and optioned film rights. The first one held it for a year, but their script took the story too far away from the moral principles Stovall insisted the movie uphold. Fortunately, he had retained script and cast approval, so he was able to prevent the studio from changing his story. He said, "I told them, 'If you want to make that script into a movie, go ahead; no one will recognize my book anywhere in there.'" Negotiations with a second studio proved another dead end. When producer Rick Eldredge approached Jim and promised to retain the book's moral integrity, a partnership was born.

Jim is a strong Christian. If you have read the book, you will note that the film is decidedly less "Christian" than the book. But it remains an entertaining and uplifting movie that indirectly communicates the gift of faith. In The Ultimate Gift, Jim is truly putting his faith to work in touching audiences with a message that resonates with our desire for meaning and a life of service and loving relationships.

See this film as a family and talk about it over dinner. Then, come back and write your own review on this blog. The biggest gift may be the conversations it kindles.

Finances and Money Management Are Too Important Not to Be Taught Early

Linda Leitz, a financial planner from Colorado Springs, CO, has written a great resource, The Ultimate Parenting Map to Money Smart Kids.  As teens get closer to going to college, it's a natural time to have candid conversations about how their education will be paid for with savings, loans, jobs and scholarships. These provide excellent vehicles for important lessons, but why wait for high school?

Linda believes that there are "five fundamentals of financial fitness. If they are learned before thirty, they can lead to a financially sound lifetime. They are saving 10 percent of what you earn, taking advantage of any retirement plan through your job, working toward owning a house, having enough liquidity to deal with an emergency and avoiding debt."

In most schools, there is not a single class directed to finances. Start early with allowing kids to open savings accounts to save for important purchases. Let them make deposits, keep track of how much they need and take the money out to buy the item.

With teens, take time to explain financial choices you make. Help them learn why you pick a certain kind of mortgage loan and how to work with a budget.

Don't forget to show the importance of giving. Tell them why and how you donate to your faith community. Explain how you pick responsible charities that actually make a difference with the money given.

(Source: Eileen Alt Powell, "Books aim to teach young adults about personal finance," Ventura County Star, December 31, 2006, D7.)