FavoriteFamilyLectures

Graduation Advice from CEOs

Del Jones, for a USA Today Executive Suite feature, asked CEOs, "If you had a son or daughter graduating from college or high school this year, what advice would you give to them?" That's a great question. Let me share some of the responses I loved best:

Jon Boscia, Lincoln National CEO, said: "Focus on deciding what will motivate you to get out of bed in the morning. Is it school? What kind? Is it work? What field? Don't worry about making a mistake--you're young and you have a lot of time to experiment."

Jim MaCann, CEO of 1-800-Flowers.com, advised: "Your youth is one of the main things you bring to the table. Share your energy and excitement. It will cost you nothing extra to have a passionate personality. Find a way to share your unique perspective with your new colleagues. You understand things about technology and culture that my generation only reads about. Use this to your advantage."

R. Donahue Peebles, author and real estate developer, said: "Prepare for surprises and disappointments and embrace both."

Jim Quigley, Deloitte & Touche CEO, advised: "Make ethical behavior the cornerstone of your career. The question is not, 'Will I get caught?' or even, 'Is it legal?' To be successful in business and in life, we must follow the higher standard of, 'Is it right?' In my view, the people who follow this standard live richer, fuller lives and achieve success that lasts."

Steve Odland, Office Depot CEO, said: "Don't just pick a career at which you're good. pursue something that comes intuitively for you and that you love instinctively. Success will follow." He also added: "Popularity wanes. Fame and fortune are fleeting. Reputation remains. How you treat others defines who you are."

This is what CEOs have suggested. How would you respond to this question? What would you advise graduates?

(Del Jones, "Just a Little Friendly Advise," USA Today, May 21, 2007, p. 7B)

Bill Cosby's Comical Advice to High Point University Graduates Is Packed with Wisdom

Bill Cosby's message to High Point University 2007 graduates was as wise as it was comical. "Go away and get a job," he said. "These old people surrounding you are tired of you. They don't want you living with them. You are supposed to be somebody. If you are, you should not be back home. You are not entitled to anything except to go find work. That is very American and very Biblical. Your parents won't say it. But you should go ye, seek ye...and not come back ye!"

Now that is funny, and it is right on. The goal of parenting is to have a launch not build a hammock. When I told my dad that I was going on to graduate school, he pulled me aside privately, "I wanted you to get an education and I'm glad you have. But I didn't want you to get carried away with this. The rest of your education is on you!"

I don't go out and find work; I went to graduate school. But I went forward with a mission--to finish as quickly and cheaply as possible. These were my loans I would have to pay back. Just think, my dad and Bill Cosby share a common message of wisdom. Parenting is not to create dependent children but achievers ready to meet the challenge of finding their place in the world.

Now that is true caring! Do you parents and graduates agree?

We Celebrate Jackie Robinson--a Civil Rights Pioneer, a Bruin & a Republican

On April 15, more than taxes are due. We celebrate something far more significant--the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier in professional baseball. In fact, he didn't just break Baseball's barrier; he broke it for all professional sports. He even ushered in the civil rights movement. His Dodger teammate,, Ralph Branca said it well, "You have to give him credit. He really did break the color barrier. He made it easier for Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks and everybody else who followed. (USA Today, April 13, 2007)

What touched me most about recent coverage was a pen pal relationship with the black legend Jackie Robinson and 14-year-old white Jewish boy from Sheboygan, Wisconsin. He was a pen pal with a legend. The correspondence with Robinson opened up a whole new world to this young man. Today he talks about his 18 personalized letters and a dozen signed pictures. He doesn't want anyone to forget this man who helped changed the country.

Now a salesman, Ron Rabinovitz relives the great memories of his relationship with Robinson. Jackie would write once every six weeks during the season. There were congratulatory telegrams for his bar mitzvah and high school graduation, and visits when the Dodgers were in town.

Interestingly, though Ron's family were Democrats, Ron remembered that Jackie was a strong Republican. Disappointed by the Southern Democrats' stand against civil rights, he wrote to Ron, "We have a real fight on civil rights ahead of us, and it appears we still have some forces to lick. I am still very disappointed in the Democrats and hope we can get some kind of a stand." After complaining about the Kennedy and Johnson, he wrote, "Democrats talk for effect, but when important issues come up they can't do a thing. I expect to go all out for the Republicans. I would prefer the kind of leadership that at least is honest and expresses its own viewpoint. It may not be the way I believe, but it is at least their opinion and I trust a man who at least stands by his own beliefs. I can't say much for the Democrats who promised so much but produced nothing."

How would he talk now about the entitlement traps the Democrats have created for black America that just hold so many back. I believe this strong "can do" American would still be critical of many Democrats and current black leaders.

When Jackie died on October 24, 1972, Ron wrote his widow, Rachel: "Through the years I learned from Jackie the true meaning of being a man. I learned never to back down on a cause you truly believe in no matter what the odds against you might be. These are important things for a boy to know while growing up, and I will cherish these memories and recall the beauty of a friendship between a man and a boy."

To this day, when Ron talks to young people about Jackie, he shares the doctrine that had guided Jackie's life, that he wrote in 1957: "I learned a long time ago that a person must be true to himself to succeed. He must be willing to stand by his principles even at the possible loss of prestige. He must first learn to live with himself before he can hope to live with others. Always, Jackie."

Now that is a mentor worth learning from and a legend worth honoring. It helps that he was a UCLA Bruin.and a Republican...not that I'm biased or anything! 

One Father's Tax Lesson: Caring for the Poor Is not just Government's Job

Son: "The gap between the rich and poor just keeps growing! Executives get millions; workers are supposed to feel lucky they have a job!"

Dad: "If they can earn more somewhere else, they should take that job! Life is difficult; it isn't fair. Because you were born in America, you have a bedroom that's bigger than homes in most poor countries. You're lucky life isn't fair, or you'd probably be living in a hut somewhere. Want to trade?"

Son: "No, but just giving half of a CEO's salary to those in need would make a real difference."

Dad: "So you want to give his money, not yours."

Son: "They have more than anyone could need!"

Dad: "That would seem true, but that's for him to decide. Those 'rich' people donate the majority of the funds charities need. Bill Gates not only made billions with Microsoft; he's made a difference with his billions."

Sean: "Not all rich people give."

Dad: "That's their loss. When you invest in giving, the payoff isn't in money. It's in meaning. Good guys do finish first. If people don't realize that, they don't know what the finish line is."

Son: "The poor are left behind!"

Dad: "In a world where rewards are distributed unequally, everyone is challenged to use their gifts to do something in a better, faster or unique way that people value enough to pay for. That's why people create; that's why they work hard, go to school or learn a craft."

Son: "Some have dead-end jobs!"

Dad: "Some politicians work to keep them there. They hate poverty so much that they reward it! Whatever you reward you get more of! So if my response to your entry-level job is to raise your minimum wage beyond its market value, you're more likely to stay in that dead-end job. Why go to college or learn a new skill if you can get more money settling for a job with minimum skills? Capitalism is tough love. It fosters competition because it cares enough to challenge you to better yourself. A free-market economy rewards achievement and penalizes anything less."

Sean: "Some people can't get better!"

Dad: "Some can't; many don't. We need a safety net for the poorest of poor, but don't make that safety net a hammock. Most Americans who politicians classify as "poor" have cars, multiple TVs and DVD players! Government studies show that only 5% of citizens remain chronically poor. Most are between jobs; many who were at one time poor become quite successful. We should reward them for achieving success, not remaining poor. That's why income taxes should be kept low and government spending cut! A recent Tax Foundation study found that America's lowest-earning households received $8.21 in government services for each dollar of taxes paid. Middle-income households received $1.30 per tax dollar, and America's top earners $0.41. Is that fair?"

Son: "The rich don't pay their fair share!"

Dad: "Really? After the 'unfair' Bush tax cuts, the top 20% percent of income producers went from paying 81% to 85% of the total income taxes? The bottom 40% of Americans went from paying nothing to getting a subsidy! America can't afford to punish success. The success of the rich helps everyone! I want everybody to get richer-the rich and the poor! I'm glad Bill Gates makes enough to give billions away! Even more important, his company has created jobs that support many families. With the Internet as the highway, his software advances have enabled many more to create unbelievable wealth all over the world. Microsoft's success has also made good returns for investors. Just because someone becomes rich doesn't make anyone else poor. In fact, in expanding economies, the more rich people there are, the more profits are created, the more people spend, and the more jobs are created."

Son: "They should still pay more."

Dad: "Since you make more money monthly in your part-time-job than many of the world's workers make in a year, should politicians take 40% of your paycheck to subsidize them?"

Son: 'No way!"

Dad: "Exactly! It's more caring to help people earn their own money than to give them money. Too many Politicians make it sound like it's caring to take from 'evil' rich people and give to those making less."

Son: "Isn't giving the Christian thing to do?"

Dad: "Interesting! As a matter of faith, the Ten Commandments aren't suggestions! It's still a sin to covet the possessions of others. It's a sin to take from others or to have someone do take for you. Jesus didn't call on the government to care for the poor; that's everyone's job. The Good Samaritan didn't tell the government to care for his neighbor; he paid for it himself. When you vote for politicians who will take more from your neighbor than what they take from you, I don't call that Christian or noble."

Son: "What are you doing now?"

Dad: "My tax return. It's great motivation for writing my column."

Byline: Dr. Terry Paulson is a psychologist, speaker, author and host to the PoliticalTalk Blog. Contact him at www.politicalassessment.com or at terry@terrypaulson.com. This column first appeared in Ventura County Star, April 9, 2007, p. B-6.

Find A Career You Love and You Won't Work a Day

You'll be tempted to find a job that pays well or something your parents believe you "ought to be doing." Don't settle. When you are trying to find your place in the future, find something that you love doing and can make a living doing.

I started out majoring in economics because my father was an accountant. I respected my father, and if accounting was good enough for him, it was good enough for me. After all, I had won awards in high school for being the best student in math and business. My early classes were not hard; the "A's" came easy. There was only one problem; I didn't enjoy the subjects.

When I started working as a volunteer youth leader for Young Life sharing my Christian faith with high school students near our campus at Pacific Lutheran University. I found out that I enjoyed working with people. I liked making people laugh; I enjoyed sharing messages to an audience of teens. Not a lot of people like doing that; I had found my gift.

I have worked and developed that gift into a career of professional speaking. It was not a direct line, but it was a journey I took to find what I was meant to do. Others have learned the same lesson.

Matt Damon, actor in "Good Will Hunting," "Saving Private Ryan" and many other Hollywood movies, gives credit to his dad for teaching him an important less about life: "From my family, I learned about the value of hard work, and the pleasure of laboring at something one loves. My dad was always my example of that. He had two kids and became a stockbroker. And he had no interest in becoming a stockbroker. He just wanted to support his kids. His message was 'Do whatever makes you happy, and don't worry about money. I spent my whole life doing something that didn't make me happy, because I needed to, and that's just the way it was. I'm not lamenting that. I am just telling you guys.' Now my brother's an artist, and I'm an actor. The two fields we were least likely to ever make a living, and he was thrilled! But truly, you've got family and relationships, and then whatever you do for your job. If you can find something that makes you happy, and you can do that and make a living at it, then I don't care what you do, that's a huge accomplishment. It's a huge accomplishment."

Ah, but you are not sure what your gifts are! Don't worry, half of what you could do hasn't been invented yet. The world is changing and people are living and working longer. You will find your place...or places. Learn from every tangent you take, every job you do, every team you serve with, and every class you take. By making life an adventure, you will find many career treasures. Enjoy every one of them!

(Source: Matt Damon, actor in "Good Will Hunting" and "Saving Private Ryan," in James Herbert, "Private Damon adjusts to increasingly public life", The San Diego Union-Tribune, Sunday, July 26, 1998, E-5)