FavoriteFamilyLectures

We Celebrate Jackie Robinson--a Civil Rights Pioneer, a Bruin & a Republican

On April 15, more than taxes are due. We celebrate something far more significant--the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier in professional baseball. In fact, he didn't just break Baseball's barrier; he broke it for all professional sports. He even ushered in the civil rights movement. His Dodger teammate,, Ralph Branca said it well, "You have to give him credit. He really did break the color barrier. He made it easier for Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks and everybody else who followed. (USA Today, April 13, 2007)

What touched me most about recent coverage was a pen pal relationship with the black legend Jackie Robinson and 14-year-old white Jewish boy from Sheboygan, Wisconsin. He was a pen pal with a legend. The correspondence with Robinson opened up a whole new world to this young man. Today he talks about his 18 personalized letters and a dozen signed pictures. He doesn't want anyone to forget this man who helped changed the country.

Now a salesman, Ron Rabinovitz relives the great memories of his relationship with Robinson. Jackie would write once every six weeks during the season. There were congratulatory telegrams for his bar mitzvah and high school graduation, and visits when the Dodgers were in town.

Interestingly, though Ron's family were Democrats, Ron remembered that Jackie was a strong Republican. Disappointed by the Southern Democrats' stand against civil rights, he wrote to Ron, "We have a real fight on civil rights ahead of us, and it appears we still have some forces to lick. I am still very disappointed in the Democrats and hope we can get some kind of a stand." After complaining about the Kennedy and Johnson, he wrote, "Democrats talk for effect, but when important issues come up they can't do a thing. I expect to go all out for the Republicans. I would prefer the kind of leadership that at least is honest and expresses its own viewpoint. It may not be the way I believe, but it is at least their opinion and I trust a man who at least stands by his own beliefs. I can't say much for the Democrats who promised so much but produced nothing."

How would he talk now about the entitlement traps the Democrats have created for black America that just hold so many back. I believe this strong "can do" American would still be critical of many Democrats and current black leaders.

When Jackie died on October 24, 1972, Ron wrote his widow, Rachel: "Through the years I learned from Jackie the true meaning of being a man. I learned never to back down on a cause you truly believe in no matter what the odds against you might be. These are important things for a boy to know while growing up, and I will cherish these memories and recall the beauty of a friendship between a man and a boy."

To this day, when Ron talks to young people about Jackie, he shares the doctrine that had guided Jackie's life, that he wrote in 1957: "I learned a long time ago that a person must be true to himself to succeed. He must be willing to stand by his principles even at the possible loss of prestige. He must first learn to live with himself before he can hope to live with others. Always, Jackie."

Now that is a mentor worth learning from and a legend worth honoring. It helps that he was a UCLA Bruin.and a Republican...not that I'm biased or anything! 

Adventurous Spirit Has Been Living with Gusto and Giving for over 100 Years

Mildred "Bitsy Thompson is 106 years old. Born in Missouri in 1900, she still puts her 106 year-old body through daily yoga and stretching routines; she keeps her mind active by participating in daily current event discussions. There is much to learn from this woman.

In a crowded family with two brothers and a sister, the only way to get attention was to do daredevil things. She road a bareback horse while standing up; that stunt earned her older brothers' admiration and the nickname, "Bitsy." While a student at Stephens College in Missouri, she was one of five people selected to travel to Puerto Rico to teach English. She stayed a couple of years, learning to speak Spanish and traditional Spanish dances.

At 106, she still goes through 15 minutes of exercises daily. Her favorite exercise is when she lies in bed and pretends that she's biking to the top of Pike's Peak. She has learned to live by a personal model that she often shares with others, "Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you." That is a life lesson worth remembering...and living by.

(Source: Joseph A. Garcia, "Living through a Century," Ventura County Star, January 15, 2007, B-1)

The Secrets of Life: An Open Letter to Graduating Students

As one of America's young adults, you hold our country's future in your hands. As you look at graduating from high school, here are some SECRETS OF LIFE for your journey. Sometimes a little truth-telling can be the best kind of graduation gift you can receive.

SECRET 1: Don't be your own worst enemy. Henry Ford said: "Most of the bars we beat against are our own. We put them there, and we can take them down." Instead of whipping yourself over mistakes, ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?" Then get out of the rearview mirror and back into making your life better.

SECRET 2 - Life is difficult and unfair; get used to it. College is more difficult than high school; life is more difficult than college. Every increase in the degree of difficulty let's you experience the satisfaction of mastering that next level. As you stretch your mental and relationship muscles, they will work even better for you. Maturity and true optimism come from a track record of overcoming increasingly tough obstacles. You have what it takes to overcome life's difficulties; prove that to yourself.

SECRET 3 - Instead of caring about your self-esteem, most people are worried about themselves. Find your own inner appreciation for what you do well. You won't be good in all areas, so don't copy the dreams of others. Turn your God-given gifts into a way to make meaning and enough money. You may be winning and not know it if you are not keeping score; keep track of your successes in a daily journal.

SECRET 4 - Develop a sense of gratitude. You are not entitled to a great job with a high salary, a perfect partner or an easy life. Be thankful for what life gives you every day. When you expect less, you are happier when you achieve more. The next time you feel like calling a pitty party, write down your blessings instead of your problems.

SECRET 5 - Don't settle for easy teachers or mentors; be excited by the ones that challenge you. When I went from being a great student in high school to being challenged in college, I realized an important truth-your best and most caring teachers are the ones that care enough to challenge you. They believe you have something great inside you, and they call for it to surface. After all, if you think your teacher is tough, wait until you have a boss.

SECRET 6 - Be nice to your parents along the way. Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from cleaning up after you and listening to your frequent complaints! Your parents are doing the best they can. So the next time you feel like being upset with them, remember that they love you and you love them! The older you get the more you will appreciate them. You might as well start now.

SECRET 7 - Don't believe everything they tell you in college. Some of your professors may have done away with winning and losing, but Life has not. Some may actually believe that America is the biggest problem in the world instead of the champion of liberty and economic opportunity that holds the world together. They may try to tell you that all moral choices are relative, and there is no standard of right and wrong. These opinions don't bear the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.

SECRET 8 - Be nice to all the people you meet along the way. It isn't just what you know in life that will get you ahead; it is how you treat others you live and work with. Nice people do get ahead. Manners are the lubricating oil of relationships. If you learn that now, it will pay off throughout life.

SECRET 9 - Cultivate your faith. People may try to convince you that God does not exist. Many intellectuals think that their minds are vastly superior to centuries of faith experience. God will be near you all the way through your coming years whether you acknowledge Him or not. He patiently waits for your prayers, for your study of His word, and for your presence at a faith community of your choice. Meet Him half way.

SECRET 10 - Laugh a lot. Take your school, your homework, and your career choices seriously, but always take yourself lightly! People like being with people who smile and make them laugh. Remember that the safest target for your humor will always be yourself. When you laugh at yourself before others do, you win!

None of us live all these secrets, but it's worth trying. Make memories, make a difference and enjoy the journey. We all want you to succeed. 

Byline: Terry Paulson, PhD, is a professional speaker on author of Can I Have the Keys to the Car? Contact him at terry@terrypaulson.com and visit his blog at http://www.favoritefamilylectures.com to add your favorite lectures and lessons learned. This column first appeared in May 2004 in the Ventura County Star.

Joining the Boy Scouts Builds Values

As I did the keynote address to the Ventura County tribute to Eagle Scouts at Reagan Library, I was struck by the power of a community to shape a young person's life. You are the people you hang out with. Hanging out with other Boy Scouts in a values-based organization shapes your values at a critical time in a young man's life. By internalizing the Scout Oath and Scout Law youths have a strong foundation for ethical decision-making that can serve them through life. The kids aren't perfect and never will be, but they aspire to be good. They have both the character and the community that supports responsible living.

Alexis Herman, former U.S. Secretary of Labor, talked about the importance of good friends. "As a young girl growing up in the south, I would hear my grandmother singing an old Girl Scout song: 'Make new friends but keep the old-one is silver, and the other is gold.' The older I get, the more I realize how this simple rhyme expresses one of the best lessons I've ever learned. Friends make the bad times easier and the good times sweeter. Friends-the kind that are with you 'through thick and thin'-can remind you of who you are. Success and good times don't matter much unless you have friends with whom you can share them."

The Boy Scouts celebrating their achievements took time to quote the Scout Oath and the Scout Law. The Scout Oath reads: "On my honor I will do my best, to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight." The Scout Law lists some powerful values: "A Scout is: Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent." Now, that is one values-based group that is worth being part of. As a former Life Scout and Order of the Arrow member, I was honored to speak to these young men and the sponsors, the parents, and Scout leaders who supported them.

Not only does the Boy Scouts build values; it builds a community that endures. People shared how having that you are an "eagle scout" on your resume is sometimes all a person needs to see in making a hiring decision. Character counts, and it doesn't happen in a vacumn. It takes parents and scout leaders to drive those values. They have more than their share of favorite family lectures to share.

(Sources: Alexis Herman, former U.S. Secretary of Labor, Washington, D.C. in Anna Muoio, editor, "My Greatest Lesson", Fast Company, pp. 83-92, June/July 1998)

The Farmer's Creed

My parents both grew up on the farms near Kirkland, Illinois. All had Swedish roots; there were Paulsons, Carlsons, Petersons, Swansons... And their values were clear.

For my first blog entry, I thought I would share the contents of "A Farmer's Creed" that I copied from a picture donated by John and Virginia Henningsen in a dairy display at the Carson Valley Museum and Cultural Center, Gardnerville, NV. It helped me understand the depth of values that my parent's grew up with. Those are some of the same values they passed on to me. So here is...

THE FARMER'S CREED

I believe a man's greatest possession is his dignity and that no calling bestows this more abundantly than farming.

I believe hard work and honest sweat are the building blocks of a person's character.

I believe that farmers, despite its hardships and disappointments is the most honest and honorable way a man can spend his days on earth.

I believe my children are learning values that will last a lifetime and can be earned no other way.

I believe farming provides education for life and that no other occupation teaches so much about birth, growth and maturity in such a variety of ways.

I believe many of the best things in life are indeed free: the splendor of a sunrise, the rapture of wide open spaces, and the exhilarating sight of your land greening each spring.

I believe true happiness comes in watching your crops ripen in the filed, your children grow tall in the sun, and your whole family feel the pride that springs from their shared experience.

I believe that by my toil I am giving more to the world than I am taking from it, an honor that does not come to all men.

I believe my life will be measured ultimately by what I have done for my fellow man, and by this standard I fear no judgment.

I believe when a man grows old and sums up his days, he should be able to stand tall and feel pride in the life he's lived.

I believe in farming because it makes all this possible.