SeizingMyDay

Graduations, Weddings and Travels Adventures in Arizona

What an amazing weekend of special events interspersed with frustrating, but ultimately funny, slapstick moments on our journey of celebration. It was a full weekend celebrating Christopher Leland's graduation from California Lutheran University and the Laurie and Seth Davis wedding in Scottsdale, AZ. Life in the fast lane makes for funny follies when you are on a tight schedule to make things work.

With the hard work Chris put in to earn is diploma, we had to be there for our nephew's graduation. After all, he graduated Magna Cum Laude! We've watched him grow up. He's joined us at NSA youth programs. He knows we are in his corner, and it makes us so proud to see him graduate. He has a job waiting for him at a respected accounting firm starting this Fall. He's got a charming, smart and fun girlfriend, Danielle, who we hope turns into much more--God willing and they both agree! It will be exciting to watch him find his place in the future.

As to the graduation, it was like all graduations--alumni, presidents, and students had their time at the microphone. There were penguins with caps and hoods everywhere. Unfortunately, there was the long and somewhat tangential commencement address that seemed to have nothing to do with the young men and women graduating. As it dragged on and dragged on, we were afraid we might have to leave before Chris received his diploma. Leland was almost at the end of the line because diploma's were given out starting with A in one line and Z in the other. Thankfully, we had time to catch him in his glory and made time for a picture, a hug and a brief congratulation before heading for LAX.  We are so proud of Chris and the young man he had become.

The trip to LAX down 405 was slow, even in the diamond lane, but we made it with time to grab a pizza before getting on the plane. The only problem on the plane was the woman behind me. When we got on the plane and got off, THIS WOMAN kept falling into my trailing luggage! It didn't help that this woman was my wife! Lorie's travel falls just added to the rushed, slapstick adventure we had on this quick trip to Arizona.

When we arrived a bit early, we went to the National Car rental to pick up our Emerald Isle car. We picked what looked like the best car available, a new Altima. Little did we know that although it had keys to get in, you didn't need a key to start. It was a keyless ignition. You push the button and the lights come on. When it failed to do anything, we searched in vain for a place to put in the key. Now, with time passing, I was getting more and more frustrated and my language a bit more colorful by the second. If only we had hit the brake, the car would have worked.

Instead, Lorie suggested the simpler Ford next to us. I hopped out of the car and in the rush hit the panic button on the Altima. The horn was sounding throughout the facility. I thought it was the Ford, so I pushed that panic button only to start the second chorus of honks. Finally, I silenced them both. Lorie decided ti best to remain quiet as I got the Ford in gear and headed for the checkout. A few minutes later, we had a good laugh as Lorie said, "Did we succeed in setting off two security alarms back there?" Yes, we were off to a memorable adventure.

We arrived at the Seth and Laurie Davis wedding with only moments to spare. I parked the car in 104 degree heat and headed past the bridesmaids to the outdoor wedding area. It was beautiful but hot. The service was lovely. Both Lutherans, the young couple was challenged to keep love, faith, forgiveness and hugs at the center of their lasting commitment. I love weddings. It means a reminder of how much I love Lorie, good food, and a chance to dance! All were realized at this wedding event. It's always great to be with friends. As usual, I took a lot of pictures and even had them transferred to a CD to give to the families and the couple. Pictures early mean more than pictures late!

On Sunday, we again continued our adventure when I wrote down the wrong address for the Community of Joy Church service. Even the GPS navigator was confused, sending us in circles around a non-existent address. By the time we figured it out, we went to the middle service instead of the early service...convinced that God had decided to humble me for all this talk about being a seasoned traveler.

The service was joyful and meaningful on Mothers Day. He preached on Revelations, but what stuck with me was a quote Pastor Walt Kallestadt attributed to his dad, "You can't know what the future holds, but you can know who holds your future!" What assurance to know that no matter how many wrong turns and trips we make on our journey, God is with us all the way working out His plan in our lives. Now that is a firm foundation for life! We survived the rest of the trip and made it back home without further incident aware that celebrating the memorable moments of life with family and friends is a blessing we must never forget to take advantage of!

A Very Special Letter from a Friend

It's the day before Christmas. I've taken time to enjoy number-one-ranked UCLA beating Michigan in basketball. I've seen three movies in three days--The Holiday, Rocky Balboa and We Are Marshall. All experiences were impactful and worthy of comment.

There have also been hundreds of Christmas cards sent and received. Lorie and I have been blessed by the presence of our grandchildren, Micah and Jeremiah. We are still recovering from their energy! Tomorrow we celebrate the last day of Advent and Christmas Eve as we await the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, the greatest of all gifts! I could have written about all, but tonight, I want to highlight a special letter from a very special friend, Bill Bradley.

Bill and I have shared so many memories--working in the training world, UCLA season tickets and a standing bet on the UCLA/USC game, and a comfortable knowledge that our friendship would last and could be picked up on a moments notice whenever needed. For a number of years, Bill has been in Oregon. He actually and completely retired to be with family--more specifically, a great bunch of grandchildren. He's taken time for vacations in the sun and with soccer, but he is enjoying his retirement years and family with no pressure to achieve any further hurdles. He says, “I continue to personally downsize and feel wonderful about it.” He is down to “three essential requirements: My big screen TV, my I-Pod and computer.” His weeks consist of a half-day reading to kids in need in a local elementary school, a half-day with his local grandkids, reading 5-7 books a month, learning beginning Spanish, yoga and badminton. One of the gifts of that kind of lifestyle is time to look back and remember--time to say thank you and I love you.

This year, two days before Christmas, I got a Christmas letter from Bill--there were the traditional pictures and updates on life with Bill Bradley. But along with it was a personal letter that I include here. It touched me because he was touched and took time to share it. I include it now to let you know that you too may have letters you need to write. I certainly know that I do. Thank you Bill for taking time to give me this gift of remembering what we have together...even to this day.

         Dear Terry:

         I keep a box of my favorite cards received over the years. Some are family, kept
         mainly for sentiment. A child’s first “I love you grandpa” is always the best.
         Some are funny. Birthday cards that are aimed straight at me. They make me
         laugh and I know the other person spent some time thinking about me before
         they purchased the card.
         
         Some say “Thank You.” A few people actually felt I made a difference in their
         lives. Those are very special and sometimes I even get misty-eyed reading
         them. I have one from a woman named Cherie from a small town in Oklahoma
         that dates back to 1983. I can’t even remember who she is, but her letter still
         gives me warmth and happiness.

         But the best card I ever received was from you. It is of a beautiful nature scene
         with an eagle soaring, a river winding through a tree-lined valley and sunlight at
         an acute angle casting glorious shadows on a rugged and beautiful landscape.
         And dominating the landscape is a series of majestic snowcapped mountains.

         Inside the card the caption reads “Mountains of Thanks”. But what really makes
         the card a “keeper” is your message to me. You list 14 reasons why I am and
         continue to be your friend. Your message wasn’t scribbled in a one-minute get-
         out-the-card moment. It was thoughtful, specific, detailed, personal and kind. It
         was as genuine as any communication can ever be.

         It was accepting me as I am, foibles and all. It described me in all my
         humanness, better perhaps than I can describe myself.

         I reread your card frequently. Your message was 100% accurate, yet I think it
         says more about you than me. As I grow increasingly saddened by world strife,
         various forms of greediness and corruption, the indifference so many people
         have to what is going on around them, I take a deep breath and read your card.
         It reminds me that there are good role models out there. You are a great role
         model. You are the best. You live your messages and I am the number I
         beneficiary.

         Thank you my friend for being my friend. I wish you and Lone a Merry Christmas,
         Happy Holidays and a very Healthy 2007.      

         Love, Bill         

         PS: Oh yeah, enclosed I am donating 1% of my annual retirement income to
         further your causes. However, I am expecting an equal donation from you next
         year. Bet on it!

Thank you, Bill. You indeed are special. Friends forever! But I do want you to know that if you think writing a letter like that is going to make me feel bad about UCLA beating USC and my taking your money, forget about it!

Passing the Grandfather Test and Dealing with the Loss of a Dog We Love

What a joy to spend time with Micah and Jeremiah! I'm reminded of the importance of giving yourself to being a grandparent instead of trying to fit it in with the "important things of life" that I just "have to get done." On a scale from one to ten, grandchildren are a clear ten! They are the future, and it takes the present to launch that future.

After two days of swimming, sliding, playing and talking with two very special young men, I'm in love, I'm bruised and a bit tired, and looking forward to the rest I will get flying away to speak to old folks in an audience who will sit quietly and listen to what this old man has to say. This isn't work to leave; it's relief.

Micah is a bundle of energy. He's fast and strong and ready to take on any challenge. His mouth gets moving as fast as his feet, and I have yet to master his dialect! Seriously, he's improving in speaking and I work at listening...but we both have far to go. He is a sensitive boy who can get on a "bad attitude roll" and just as likely be a loving and gentle brother. He makes friends easily and loves to play. He loves video games and is good at them. Of course, when his competition is his grandfather, this is no competition at all. All my victories are happy accidents!. It will be exciting to watch him grow up before our very eyes. He knows we love him. He thinks I'm silly, and he is right.

Jeremiah is also full of energy, but his mouth is more engaged than any other part of his being. He is quick to speak his mind. At the church service, he was the only boy to talk during my children's sermon. He talked about water sticks; I learned later that they are the plastic animals you throw in pools that sink so that you can dive to retrieve them. I'm not sure how they related to God, but Jeremiah felt there was an obvious connection. During the prayers, the congregation would respond to a sentence prayer with "Hear our prayer." Every time the congregation responded, Jeremiah was the church echo repeating "Hear our prayer." to the delight of everyone including God. I took time later to tell him that God may call him to be a preacher like his dad or a speaker like his papa Abba! He thought that might be true. He's a thinker.

If you haven't guessed, I love being a grandfather. My son and his wife are doing the hard work parents have to do with consistent love, limits and discipline and we can see that the children are already better for it in less than a year! God is good, and so are they. We are on their team forever.

Now, I got to leave town before they left. Lorie had the challenge of babysitting one final night. She was tested and challenged but passed the test as well. I think in the future, it will take both of us to keep order. We will get better at this.

In the sadness side of life, we have decided that our Dalmatian Sunshine is fading badly. Her heart murmur is getting worse. She has a growth on her back and a cyst in her throat area that keeps filling with blood and saliva. Most importantly, her hind legs are giving way to a neural breakdown. It's like she doesn't know what they are doing. She can walk, because in movement, the back legs perform their function. But when she stands still, her back legs slowly give way. She can't feel them. It is sad to watch. She can't hear, and only her walks, food and love for us keeps her going. After our vet visited us today, we decided that we would make an appointment to put her down in mid-August. I want to be there with her. Just telling that to Nancy today, had all of us crying. We love her so. She has been a wonderful dog, but she is failing. I don't want to be away, and have others have to put her down.

Contrasting the life-giving force of being a grandparent to watching age take its toll on our family dog is one of the tensions of life that keeps every day a strange blessing.

Making Grandchildren Feel Special Is a Grandparent's Job

At the 2006 National Speakers Association Convention in Orlando, it was great to reconnect with all our speaking friends...if you could find them in 1700 milling attendees! there were the usual great performances, good food and plenty of KEEPERS to put into action on my return.

But with Micah and Jeremiah coming to visit tomorrow, it was the comment of two speakers on some very special grandparents that got me thinking about my own role. How do you leave a legacy that lasts?

Phil Van Hooser's grandmother would make it a point of introducing each grandchild to anyone who would listen. She would go from child to child, placing her hands on their shoulders. With Phil, she would proudly announce that he was "Phil Van Hooser and he was a going to be the first Van Hooser Baptist Preacher!" Phil did not become a preacher, but he sure watched them as they preached. He watched how they used their voice and gestures. If he was going to be the first preacher, he was going to do it well. Phil never felt the call to the ministry, but he did feel God's pleasure as a speaker. I'm sure she is smiling down from heaven at his "ministry" as a speaker.

I have decided that I need to do the same with my grandchildren. My introductions might go like this:

"This is Micah and he's gifted with energy and athleticism and will be a great athlete. He's so good to his better that he will be a great team player making others better."

"This is Jeremiah and he's got such an active mind. He loves to talk with enthusiasm. He might be a talker or preacher some day."

Dr. Wayne Sofile, a psychologist who spoke on work-life balance, also was impacted by his grandmother and her sustaining love. Every time Wayne would see his grandmother, she would say, "Sit down next to me. Hold my hand. Let me look at you!" Even at forty-five, she did the same thing. There was a quiet assurance of love in a hectic world.

May I take the time to do the same with Micah and Jeremiah. After all, we do grandmothers always leave the legacy? What special things did your grandparents do that made a difference to you?

Sandler's Spanglish Touches on the Power of Love

When you read my journal entries, you are getting a picture--This guy loves movies! I do. I like going to the theater where I can get my popcorn and enjoy the widescreen experience between kernels! I also enjoy my DVD collection of films that I can watch as I fly the friendly skies of America as a professional speaker. On a recent flight, I took the time to view the 2004 movie, Spanglish.

In Spanglish, Adam Sandler plays John Klasky, a promising chef who finally achieves world-class status when Klasky's restaurant receives the coveted four-star rating from the New York Times Food Section. But it is Klasky's home life that is the focus of this surprisingly touching romantic comedy. I expected an Adam Sandler film to be funny; I did not realize how strongly it would touch me. The movie reinforced the importance of live, values and personal dreams!

This chef, labeled by the New York Times as the "best chef in America," can't say the same about his personal life. He is married to a neurotic, controlling, compulsive and insecure woman, Deborah (Tea Leoni). Deborah has a way of spreading her craziness to the entire household with a particularly devastating impact on her daughter.

Into this craziness and tension, comes Flor Moreno (Paz Vega), who has moved herself and her daughter away from Mexico to find a better life in the United States. Flor becomes the Klasky's Spanish-speaking maid. Flor must wrestle with her new surroundings and whether to allow her daughter, Cristina (Shelbie Bruce), to succumb to the wealthy Anglo-culture of Malibu or insist that, despite Cristina’s protestations, she stay true to her own working-class Hispanic heritage. In the process, Flor brings sunshine, love, and goodness into the Klasky home.

John suddenly realizes there is more a woman can give than headaches and criticism. Deborah's coldness is contrasted with Flor's warmth. Deborah's narcissism with Flor's integrity and values.

But why am I including this movie in my journal? I found tears coming to my eyes many times as I watched the story unfold. Somehow I realized how blessed I was to have Lorie as my wife. I realized that Lorie's warmth, her laughter and joy, her faith and goodness were treasures too easily taken for granted. Lorie is the woman I wished I had married first. I'm glad I did not settle, but I do wish I had met Lorie first. I wish I had not put Kathy and Sean through the pain of divorce. I wish I had faced that choice without taking a journey of sin.

I won't spoil the movie for you, but let me share that I am glad my life's story ended with love winning out. May I never forget to tell Lorie how much she truly means to me. I have found a life's mate truly worthy of the name. By the way, if you haven't seen the film, make sure you do!